We’re going to let you in on a little secret of the F&B trade: You, the customer, are not always right. In fact, sometimes you are downright, emphatically, egregiously, and explicitly wrong and – what’s worse – being a total dick about it. It’s true: Signing for the bill does not grant you permission to dispense with basic human decency. But in all fairness, maybe some of you out there in the world just don’t realize when you’re being an insufferable douche nozzle. That’s why SmSh asked an anonymous panel of Shanghai chefs and restaurateurs for a few pro tips on what not to do when dining in their fine, fine, and variously Michelin-starred restaurants.



Here are 13 ways you can be a better diner from Shanghai’s F&B luminaries. (Who only agree to speak out anonymously. For… understandable reasons.)



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“You don’t have to like my cooking, but don’t come to my restaurant and tell me how to be a better cook. I assure you. I know more about how to do my job than you do.”




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“You aren’t the only one in the restaurant. Don’t ask us to do things that affect other customers’ comfort, like turning off the music or turning up the air con.”




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“We have posted hours. They’re on our door and on every listings website in town. Don’t write a negative user review online about us just because you didn’t do your homework and showed up on one of the days we aren’t open.”




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“Our servers are people, too. There is no need to take your bad day out on them.”




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“It’s bad enough that you bring outside food into my restaurant, but you’ve completely crossed the line when that outside food is exactly what we specialize in.”




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“Don’t ask us what ceviche is, then order it, then send it back, and then complain that we served you raw fish.”




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“This is China. Believe it or not, Chinese people are often in positions of leadership in businesses. Don’t assume that our front-of-the-house manager must have a white face.”




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“Read the menu!  Yelling at us because we didn’t warn you that a sandwich had ham in it loses a lot of validity when the word ‘ham’ is written clearly in two languages on the menu.”




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“I’m not your mother. Cut your own food.”




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“I don’t care if you’re dropping cash to show face. If you need to leave in 30 minutes, then don’t order the eight-course tasting menu.”




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“It is not appropriate to hit on my service team. You can be nice. Be flirty even, but do not text them ‘good night’ in the evenings and ask them what they are up to, especially if they didn’t answer the first five times.”




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“Don’t order several bottles of liquor, proceed to drink them in their entirety, then confront me about how expensive your bill is and tell me that it would have been cheaper to get just drunk at home.”




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“Don’t shit spray our bathroom and then walk out the door like it never happened. We will smell and notice this.”




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